A weddings should be the happiest day of a bride’s life — but they often bring so much drama, too! And one mother-daughter duo found out the hard way when they got into a massive fight over an heirloom wedding dress!
This week, a 45-year-old momma brought her story to Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole” Detailing the whole debacle, she told readers how her 20-year-old daughter plans to tie the knot in a few months and had asked to borrow her wedding dress for the big day. But the mother was a hard pass! She refused to allow her child to wear it due to the sentimental value of the gown! Whoa…
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The mom explained:
“I said absolutely no since it is my dress and I love it very much. It is something many women have done and apparently it is a beautiful tradition, and mothers are often happy to do it. It is even an honor to the woman. But for me, I just can’t. I love this dress. I was the one who designed it, and my mother, who was an excellent seamstress, made it for me. Looking at my wardrobe, this is the last piece I have that she made.”
So she doesn’t trust her daughter to keep it safe? Well… there’s more to the refusal…
The big reason the mom wouldn’t give her daughter the dress, she explained in the post, is because her daughter is a size 14… and the dress is a size 4. This means the bride would need to make some major alterations in order for it to properly fit — something the mother doesn’t want to happen to the piece:
“My daughter wouldn’t just borrow it either. She is much bigger than me and she just wants to use the fabric and alter it, irreversibly because she’s a size 14 and the dress is a 4.”
Mom’s decision caused a huge rift with her daughter:
“Now she is angry telling everyone that i am a cold hearted hag who hates her. My sister thinks a dress isn’t worth making a bride sad. I don’t know. I love my daughter to the moon and back but I don’t understand why she shouldn’t hear a no just because she’s getting married. Even if she was the right size and wouldn’t alter the dress, isn’t it odd not to respect other people’s property no matter if that is your mother. Since when did mothers stop being their own individuals and only became caterers for their children?”
Jeez!
It kinda sounds like she wouldn’t want the kiddo touching her stuff even if alterations weren’t on the menu. Hmm…
Talk about some messy wedding drama! Naturally, her post sparked a debate in the comments. While some were 100 percent on the mom’s side, others thought she could have created some sort of compromise with her daughter to avoid an argument before her big day. See some of the reactions (below):
“You should preserve it, and she is in the wrong to complain”
“It holds an enormous sentimental value and is a connection to your mom. Due to your daughter having a different body type, even if you wanted to lend her the dress, the necessary alterations would mean that it would be a completely different dress.”
“Do you have something else she could borrow for the wedding? Maybe she thought the sentiment of tradition was a nice idea to her. like a purse, or some jewelry?”
“My wedding dress was magnificent and I loved it, still do. It has been sitting in a box for over thirty years. I’ll never wear it again and I have no idea what I am saving it for. I’d gladly give it to someone (especially my daughter) if using it would bring them happiness.”
“I would ask if you can help design one for your daughter and find a seamstress to make it for her. If she wants your dress, you can work with the seamstress to make the same dress for her in the same design/pattern.”
Definitely a tricky situation. We can understand why the mom wants to keep the dress intact, especially since it was the last piece her own late mother made with her. It must be for her to part ways with the item since it holds a special meaning.
On the other hand, the daughter seems to really want the dress included on her big day. It’s symbolic — a beautiful gesture for the mom to pass down a family heirloom to her child. We mean, isn’t that why there’s a something borrowed? And it sucks to get disappointed like this before your wedding day. Hmm. As we said, it is a complicated situation!
But what do YOU think, Perezcious readers? Do you feel the mom is right? Or do you think she’s being selfish? Sound OFF in the comments below!
[Image via Oscar Gonzalez/WENN.]
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